


The Second Rule of Fight Club

by TheViperQueen



Series: To Charm a Snake [1]
Category: Fallout 3
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-24
Updated: 2014-01-24
Packaged: 2018-01-09 09:16:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1144230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheViperQueen/pseuds/TheViperQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Butch + Audrey + fighting = an ass load of UST and this fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Second Rule of Fight Club

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt:** Butch and the LW realize that they really, really like beating the crap outta each other. I don't give a damn about gender of the LW. Bonus for awkward "oh no, this isn't turning me on or anything, nope" moments afterwards.

If the first rule of Fight Club is _‘Never talk about Fight Club’_ , then the second is undoubtedly _‘Never be turned on from fighting a fellow Fight Club member’._

This is what I constantly have to remind myself of when fighting Butch.

It’s weird. It’s wrong. It’s totally masochistic. I know this, I really do, but nevertheless I find myself basically ogling the idiot. No, no, not ogling, I’m simply… _observing_. Yeah, that’s it! I am training to be a doctor and that requires an extensive study of human anatomy. And what better way to learn than by studying the fine male specimen in front of me?

And look- he’s taking his shirt off. How helpful of him.

With justification in hand, I let my eyes dutifully wander over the toned muscle that covers his arms and abdomen. One, two, three, four, five, and six. Yup, that is definitely a six-pack alright, but maybe I should count again just to be sure… yes, they’re all there, that’s good. Now about those arms… They seem to be coming along nicely. Not at all ropey like Freddie’s, but not overly juiced like Wally’s. And his pectoral muscles are in fine form today. Hmmm, yes, he seems to be very well developed indeed, but further inspection will be needed to make an accurate decision.

Butch’s low growl brings my focus back to the fight at hand. It also makes my body tense, but that’s just my fight-or-flight response kicking in, I promise. He starts towards me with an almost predatory glare before attacking. I block his blows with practiced ease before throwing a few of my own only to have them thwarted.

We go on like this for a few minutes, with Butch occasionally hitting his target when I get too distracted from watching the hypnotic way his muscles stretch and contract with his every movement.

Again, this is just observation. For science.

Tired of our back and forth, Butch goes in for a pin. I could have easily side-stepped his attack, but I let him grab me. This is also for science of course, it’s not like I’d let the jerk mount errr, straddle uhh, _pin_ me for any other reason.

He’s staring down at me, crystal blue eyes darker than usual, as he holds my hands in one of his over my head, a smirk playing at his lips. I stare right back, lips moving to mirror his smooth, perfectly shaped, totally kissable- okay, probably not the best line of thought to continue with.

Needing to get him from above me, I wrap my legs around his waist and buck. Not my brightest idea. Sure it effectively reverses our positions, but it now has me straddling his hips. Hips that I’m fairly certain he just rolled. And is he… _hard?_

What. The. Hell.

Before I can even begin to process that he pushes me off, sending me sliding into some storage crates. As my back collides with the unyielding metal Wally and his whore sister cheer while Paul looks on with wide eyes and Christine grins.

My back is aching, but the pain barely registers as my mind is still on Butch’s possible stiffy. Gah! That _couldn’t_ have been his package. Seriously, you don’t throw a boner in a battle! That was just his jacket sleeves, right? It had to be. They were just bunched up between us. Yeah, that’s what I felt…

“You okay?” Freddie asks as he tries to help me up.

I swat away his extended hand, getting up by myself and setting my sights on the back of the greasy haired idiot across from me. “That all you got DeLoria?” He turns back around, eyebrows furrowed. “What? You thought that _that_ ,” I gesture to the crates, “was a finishing blow?”

He scowls at me then. “I just kicked your ass Nosebleed and you still want some more?”

I answer by unzipping my jumpsuit (earning some catcalls from the males, glares from the girls, and a wide-eyed stare from Butch), pulling the top half off, and tying it around my waist by the arms so that it matches his. I adjust the tight black camisole that I always wear underneath, eyes still on his.

“Bring it on Oil Slick.”

x-x-x

This isn’t normal. It can’t be normal. I should not be feeling this way. Not about _her_ , and definitely not while she’s trying to kick the shit out of me.

I pull my shirt off as she stands there, eyes half-lidded- no, that can’t be right, they must be narrowed at me in concentration. Her long black hair that started off in a ponytail is now loose and sticking to her face from the sweat and her full lips are pulled up into a lopsided smirk. And her tits- her sweet, amazing tits are heaving with her breaths, just waiting for me to pull the zipper down on that ugly ass standard issue jumpsuit that really never looks good on anybody but somehow she manages to fill it out nicely- and what the fuck am I thinking?!

This is Audrey! Queen of all bitches, totally frigid, and probably a lesbian. No, wait, lesbians are hot. Uhhh, she’s a… what did Mr. Brotch call people with both sets of parts? A her-math-pro-dite? No. A-mackerel-dife? Nah, that wasn’t it. Well, whatever it was, she’s one of ‘em. Yeah, there we go Butch-man, let’s keep that head straight.

Letting out a growl I stalk towards her with determination and I can swear that I see her tense up. She’s scared, as she should be, I’m about to tap that ass. I mean whoop! I’m gonna _whoop_ that ass.

Right. I’m going to go hit her now.

Punches are thrown and blocked on both ends and after a few minutes of that tune I finally decided to go in for a pin. It’s really not the best idea in the world considering the fact that I’m currently at half-mast (it’s crazy what a great set of tits can do to a man), but I have to end this fight soon and get the hell out of here. I gotta have a talk with the lower Tunnel Snake; he can’t go around standing at attention just because a girl is stacked! She’s a her-map-ro-dike for Christ’s sake!

I look down into her chocolate eyes, eyes that go well with that caramel skin of hers. It’s like she’s a candy bar, almost good enough to eat out. I mean up! Uhh, I mean, I _do not_ want to eat her at all dammit.

Before I can bitch-slap my thoughts into submission, Audrey is wrapping those long, toned legs around me and flipping us, leaving me on my back and her sitting on my hips.

I couldn’t really stop myself from grinding against her. It was an automatic response conditioned from dozens of fuck-sessions with Christine. Flinging her off of me was also an automatic response. Everybody stared as Audrey flew back into some crates giving me time to make sure my raging shame-boner was covered by my jumpsuit’s arms.

Audrey lay there for a moment, probably too embarrassed to move after getting her ass handed to her. As awesome as it is to see her on her back, I need to get the hell out of here. But of course she just has to open her mouth.

“That all you got DeLoria?”

I slowly turn back around, confused. She wants to keep going?

She cocks an eyebrow at me. “What? You thought that _that_ ,” she waves her hand dismissively at the crates, “was a finishing blow?”

“I just kicked your ass Nosebleed and you still want some more?” This broad must be certifiable!

She responds with a devilish smirk as her hand reaches up and- oh sweet mother of God, she’s taking off her jumpsuit!

Time seems to crawl by as the zipper slowly makes its way down her middle to reveal a tight black tank top that’s somehow more revealing in the way it hugs her body than if she were only in a bra. I feel my eyes go even wider as they take in the half-hidden glory of her tits. They’re still mostly covered, but some of them are peeking out over the top of that low cut tank taunting me, just making me want to go over there and…

I blink my eyes a few times and resist the urge to punch myself in the dick. _This is Audrey!_

Her eyes lock on mine as she secures the sleeves around her waist with a tug. “Bring it on Oil Slick.”

 _'Oil Slick?'_ Nobody talks about Butch DeLoria’s hair, nobody! If she wants a fight, then she’s got a fight!

x-x-x

Okay, so maybe the whole ‘Oil Slick’ comment was taking it a bit too far.

Butch charges towards me with more energy than I expect, but never being one to back down from any fight I meet him head on. We collide in a jumble of flailing limbs. It basically turns into a grappling match from there with neither of us giving up much ground.

“Ready to admit defeat DeLoria?” I grunt as I grab a fistful of thick, pomade-covered hair.

He lets out a hard laugh. “Don’t know the meaning of the word.” He then commences to pull my hand from his hair and pin it out to the side. “And watch the fuckin’ ‘do!” I roll my eyes at that. Seriously, his obsession with his hair cannot be healthy.

“Red alert! Red alert! Someone’s coming!” Paul, who’s playing lookout, yells from the door.

Butch and I untangle ourselves as everybody begans to flee the scene.

“Shit!” the Tunnel Snake hisses as he grabs his shirt off the floor. “I can’t get caught, mama will kick my ass!” I raise an eyebrow at him. “Not that I’m scared of her or anything-”

“Cut the bravado and come with me,” I say as I began to pull him towards the metal box he threw me into earlier.

“The hell?” He looks at me like I’ve grown a second head as I motion for him to get in the empty box.

“You got a better idea?” I ask as I hop in myself. By now we can hear the frantic footsteps of the others coming to a halt as they’re caught by who I assume to be Vault security.

Butch looks from the box to the door and then back before mumbling ‘fuck it’ and climbing in. We pull the top back on sealing us in the dark.

“This is so fuckin’ stupid!” he whisper-yells in my ear. I hiss at him to be quiet just as gears sound at the opening of the reactor room’s door.

Two sets of heavy boots enter the room. “If anyone’s in here I would advise you to show yourself right now!” the familiar voice of Officer Gomez calls out.

“Oh come on Herman, does that shit ever work?” Officer Mack sneers, “Look around, see if anyone’s hiding.”

“ _Fuuuuuck_ ,” Butch groans making me throw a hand over his mouth.

“And where exactly would they be hiding?” Officer Gomez asks, a trace of annoyance in his voice. “Everything’s pushed against the walls.”

“Whatever, let’s go,” Officer Mack says after a moment, his voice moving towards the door. “I need to smack some sense into Wally and Susie. Getting into something this-” the last of his sentence is cut off by the door closing.

“That was close,” I sigh.

“Moor mellin’ me.”

“What?”

“I _said_ ,” Butch laughs as he pulls my hand from his mouth, “You’re telling me. Shit, I’d hate to be Wally right now.”

“Or Susie for that matter,” I agree. “This whole thing is stupid anyway,” I continue as I push the lid off of the box and climb out, “I mean really, how long can we keep kicking the shit… out… of… each… other?” I stare at Butch as he hooks his hands over his head and stretches before hopping out the box and replacing the lid- something that made his muscles move in a most delicious, err _interesting_ manner. God, you _do not_ get a body like that from cutting hair.

“Eh, yer probably right,” he says as he pulls his shirt over his head. His smirk is knowing as he turns to face me. “So I’ll see you the same time next week?” he asks.

I blink hard a couple of times before returning the gesture. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

**Author's Note:**

>  **Other places this story can be found:**  
>  _Fallout Kmeme:_ http://falloutkinkmeme.livejournal.com/588.html?thread=6612044#t6612044  
>  _My Tumblr:_ http://thepuckishrogue.tumblr.com/post/22640072154/butch-f-lw-the-second-rule-of-fight-club


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